You Carried Me, Now I Carry You (To Mammy on Mother’s Day)

Dear Mammy,

I am thankful you are the one God gave me.  I say this now with all sincerity because the life I had with you specifically (good, bad, and being mammy’s baby) as my mother, has perfectly prepared me for the life I have in Christ today.  For that, I say thank you!  The love you’ve shown me through the life you’ve lived and the treasures shared is now greater, and it transcends the future generations of our family.

“For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” – Matthew 12:50

Although I did not fully understand it then, the life you’ve lived was uniquely yours, allowed by a loving and sovereign God.  You always made do with the wages you earned, from the meals you made from scratch, to the free extracurricular activities you signed us up for and chose to partake in yourself, even as you aged.  Another thing about your life that I will never forget, is how you trusted God through the challenging times in our lives and how you praised Him every chance you had.  Now, I can say I love how you gave of your time, talent, and treasures even when those things were scarce.  You truly impacted lives beyond your household and for that I am proud of you.

Although I did not fully understand it then, the skills taught and the life lessons learned were invaluable.  I’ve learned to make a few meals from scratch and I have learned to add my own personal twist that my family enjoys.  I also have a sewing machine and have made a few items using it already (took me long enough though).  There are many other things that I have learned both directly and indirectly that I reflect on almost daily as I recognize what I learned from you in the various life situations that I encountered which I share with my family.

Although I did not fully understand it then, the greatest love that I have is the love of Christ which transcends all things.  With the love of Christ, I must share the good news of the gospel with my children and those that want to hear.  I must live out the love of Christ in the way I develop and nurture all my relationships (the little ones are watching too).  I endeavor to be intentional and relational in my walk with Christ, but grateful that He is a sovereign God.

Now I get it mammy

You made space in your body and carried me in your womb, all while carrying me in your heart

When your womb could hold me no longer

You carried me in your arms, all while carrying me in your heart

Then you tried to protect me from sickness, protect me from hurt and pain, all while praying diligently with me and for me, taking me to church, and reading the bible together

Still while carrying me in you heart

For you knew you could not spare me from suffering

As the physical distance between us grew, you continued to take care of me beyond my physical needs

You still prayed, but now you encouraged me to pray on my own and to develop my own personal relationship with Christ

You were preparing me for life on this earth without you and I’m sorry like with “sticking around in the kitchen” I was not fully paying attention

So I missed the cues that you were not going to be a phone call away anymore

I felt all alone and abandoned, though I know it was not your fault

My biggest and probably only cheerleader was gone, can you imagine the grief

I bet you are proud though that I finally caught on that I need Jesus Christ as my personal savior and the only way I was going to have that was to seek Him diligently with all of my being through prayer and studying His word

I carry you on in my memory

I carry you on in the life I live

I carry you on as our family legacy

A legacy in Christ